A Fan recently wrote to me about starting college and asked for my recommendation about what she should study in order to be a successful writer. She heard me speak a few years ago and remembered that I had studied business and entrepreneurship. She wanted to know if it would be a good path for her to follow. I’m honored to be asked this question, especially by such an exceptional young woman who happens to be a very talented writer.

When I responded, I found myself writing advice about college that was also super-helpful to me for life in general. It’s taken me 20 years, including an undergrad degree, a masters degree, a business program, 12 years in the corporate world, and 5 years as an entrepreneur to develop into the person I am today professionally. Looking back, I’ve learned a lot during that time of exploration and personal development.

So, I’m sharing my advice to her in hopes that it will also help you wherever you are in your life’s journey. Here’s my blueprint for a happy and successful college career and beyond:

1. Learn marketing – This is the #1 skill that’s helped me successfully spread the word about my books. Not scam tactics, but real strategies to connect with your readers and build relationships. Not icky manipulation, but heartfelt marketing that communicates meaning about what you’re doing and shares how it benefits people. Discover ways to authentically connect with people and to share your books, message, and ideas with heart. Learn how to package your ideas and products in ways that people can instantly understand their value. These entrepreneurial skills are the best ones you can possibly have for designing a successful creative life.




2. Hone your craft & create lots of art – Keep writing things that you love to write. Create stories, books, and experiences that set your soul on fire. Share them with people so you can cultivate your art. Challenge yourself to write beyond your comfort zone as well.




3. Meet a lot of people – Take opportunities to go to different types of events where you’ll meet lots of new people. Have a business card (even if you don’t have a business) with your phone number, email, website, Facebook professional page (if you don’t have one, create one), and other social media handles that you’re active with. When you return from events, send connection requests to the people you most enjoyed via LinkedIn and Facebook. You never know who is going to become your new best friend, your business partner, or change your life in some magical way (and, there’s a very high likelihood that you will change the lives of each person you meet … but only if you have the courage to meet them).




4. Only accept advice from people who are happy and successful at what you want to accomplish – Whether it’s writing a best-selling book, managing your finances, having a healthy relationship, or building your business empire, always seek people who are both happy and successful at it. Otherwise, their advice/opinion is typically irrelevant … if it’s not working for them, it probably won’t work for you either. 🙂 Example: follow people who are doing social media well and watch them and learn how they’re connecting with their Fans.




5. Make it up as you go along – Remember to have fun! When I started my undergrad program, I was a Psychology major. I switched to Communication mid-way through. But, the knowledge I gained through my Psych classes still benefits me today when I use it for marketing and helping people. You are the author of your personal hero’s journey, make it a good one! 😉




6. Take extraordinary care of yourself – You are so precious and deserve the best in life. Work hard and stay true to yourself and your vision. If someone enters your life and tries to tear down what you’ve created or hold you back (even unintentionally), lovingly let them go. Respect your body, mind, heart, and soul. Your energy is precious … don’t waste it with people who are on a different trajectory.

You are meant for greatness and it’s okay to be extraordinary and use your gifts, even if others can’t always relate. When making a decision, ask yourself, “Is this the most loving choice for me in this moment?” and let the answer guide your actions. If the choice is in alignment with your values and your vision for your life, it’s probably a good one even if it seems scary.

So much of life is about learning through experience. Look for the good in every situation and know that everyone struggles from time to time. Don’t dwell … just learn and grow. Choose to make it your success story and you’ll always move forward to greater levels of fulfillment.

Please share your dream with me so I can help hold the intention and celebrate you when you achieve it! If you’d like more strategies for creating magic, passion, and aliveness while achieving your wildest dreams, join my VIP Fan Club and receive inspiration delivered to your email inbox each month.

Secret #1: Be your authentic self

“Being your authentic self is the ultimate secret to happiness in life.” ~ Sheri Fink

Be true to yourself always. Don’t worry what other people will think. March to the beat of your own unique drum, and do the things that make you happy.

When I became a children’s author, I was nervous to share the inspiration behind my first book, The Little Rose.  I soon realized that through courageously sharing my experience of being bullied, and using that situation as a way to reach children who may be in similar situations, I’m able to help people transform their lives.

My passion for empowering kids far outweighed the fear I felt about being vulnerable and open. Magical things happen when you’re following your passions, and the things that you really love in life.

Secret #2: Surround yourself with people who inspire you

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss

Always seek to be around people who amplify your energy. After interacting with them, you feel uplifted and excited about life. Look for this reaction when considering friends, coaches, business partners, mentors, clients, Mastermind Group members, etc.

I love being around people who are “in it to win it” in life. My favorite people have a special blend of confidence and vulnerability, work ethic and spirituality, business savvy and creativity, healthy boundaries and compassion, as well as peacefulness and a desire for fun, adventure, and mischief.

They don’t wait for things to happen in life, they go after what they want with style, integrity, and zest. They do what it takes to bring their dreams to life, even when it’s inconvenient. It’s amazing to behold.

Having people like this in your life will inspire you every day to be braver, take more risks, live more authentically, really go after your dreams, and to become the best version of yourself.

Secret #3: Practice blissful thinking

“Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity.” ~ Will Smith

Dream the biggest dream you can, and then make it even bigger. Visualize the most amazing life you can imagine … then multiply it by 10! It should be so enormous that it simultaneously scares and excites you, inspiring you to really go for it.

When I wrote The Little Rose, I knew in my heart that I wanted my book to be a best-seller. It wasn’t enough for me to just publish the book, I really wanted its empowering message to reach children worldwide. Early on, when I would share my dream of my first book becoming a best-seller, I was sometimes quickly discouraged by well-meaning “experts” who didn’t want me to be disappointed.

I chose to believe that their limitations would not limit me, and I continued to dream my big, authentic, audacious dream. Two weeks after my book debuted on Amazon, it became not only a best-seller, but a #1 best-seller! Moreover, it stayed at #1 for over 60 weeks. Don’t play small in life; go for what you really want and deserve.

Secret #4: De-clutter your life

“If you are brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” ~ Paul Coelho

Let go of anyone, anything, and any opportunity/event/activity/obligation, etc. that no longer serves you or fits into your vision for your ultimate life. Anything that drains your energy must go.

Many times in the past I agreed to do things that didn’t feel exciting, fun, or fulfilling to me, mostly because I wanted the person asking me to like me and think I was a good person. I learned that saying “yes” to everyone else means saying “no” to myself and my own dreams.

Jack Canfield, the co-creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and best-selling author of The Success Principles, teaches that if it’s not a “Hell Yes,” it’s a “Hell No,” and I live by this philosophy. It makes life so much easier when you can give a calm and confident “no, thank you” to anything that doesn’t sing to your soul. It creates space for what you really want to flow into your life.

Amazing things will come when you create the space for them in your home, your business, your schedule, and your life. When in doubt, throw it out.

Secret #5: Trust your intuition/inner voice

“The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is doing it.” ~ Chinese Proverb

We are all equipped with an inner guidance system. Practice getting in touch with your inner self and listen for the whispers of your soul. Sitting in silence and enjoying nature is a great way to deepen your connection with your inner voice.

Practicing meditation has transformed my life. In the past, I was often overwhelmed with my thoughts to the point where I would actually get headaches from thinking so much. I started meditating four years ago, and I experience an inner peace that I couldn’t have imagined before. Meditation is a wonderful gift you give yourself to connect with your soul. My intuition has become so much stronger as a result.

Many wonderful ideas come when you take the time to listen. When you receive an intuitive nudge, take inspired action as soon as possible and watch the magic that unfolds before you.

Secret #6: Choose to amplify love, joy, and kindness in the world and trust that it will be reflected back to you

“Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you. Remember, life is an echo. It always gets back to you. So give goodness.” ~ Anonymous

Sometimes it can feel like we’re bombarded by negativity. Break the chain and refuse to be a part of it. Discontinue blaming, complaining, gossiping, and rationalizing. It’s a waste of your precious energy. Associate with people, places, things, and events that make you feel good, and fill you with hope and joy.

Champion the people who are making a positive difference in the world. I love supporting and sharing stories about my friends who are pursuing their dreams and transforming lives. It inspires me to keep growing and taking risks to become the best I can become. Amplifying the positive will enhance your life, and the lives of everyone around you.

Secret #7: Keep taking action in the direction of your dreams

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” ~ Audrey Lorde

It‘s normal to feel nervous or scared when trying something new. If you feel pulled to pursue something, honor that feeling and continue taking action toward your goal despite your fears and doubts. You’ll never know until you try.

Think about the person you’re becoming, and make the decision from that future perspective. For example, if your dream is to become an author and you’re offered an opportunity to speak about your experiences, the current version of you might be scared and want to turn down the opportunity. There are many seemingly legitimate excuses, but none of them will get you where you ultimately want to go. By thinking about it from the perspective of your future self as an author, you’ll recognize it as an amazing chance to spread your message, build your fan base, and transform lives. Then, the decision becomes easier, and you’re stretching your comfort zone to step into the life you’re truly meant to live.

When you commit to living the life of your dreams, you’ll feel good knowing that you’re working toward a challenge that’s worthy of your efforts. Your life will overflow with passion, magic, and more aliveness than you can imagine. Above all, do what makes you happy, and enjoy this exciting journey!

Published in Eco Heart Magazine

When you’re going after your dreams and really taking action toward your big goals, there will be occasional disappointments. For whatever reason, things won’t always go the way you hoped, even with the best planning and visualizations. The only way to completely safeguard against experiencing disappointment in our lives is for us not to try anything new or strive for anything beyond what we’ve already got. That leads us nowhere and stagnates our lives. If you’re like me, that’s not even an option.

So, the alternative is to fully embrace our dreams and keep trying to achieve our goals knowing that growth can be painful, and yet, extremely rewarding. Our best bet is to condition ourselves to transform our disappointments into breakthroughs.

To be honest with you, I don’t deal well with disappointment … at all. As a sensitive, deep-feeling writer, I’m especially susceptible to disappointment and all of its flavors. Although I ultimately handle it and keep moving forward, I still don’t like it.

Step 1: Separate Facts from Emotions

It’s okay to feel disappointment. When I’m disappointed, I feel sad for a little while. It can take a few hours to a few days to fully recover, forgive the person and myself, and get completely back on track energetically. Sometimes it only takes a few minutes.

I think the key is to be honest with yourself and separate facts from emotions. How will you feel if you never try? How will you feel if you make progress? How will you feel if you actually achieve your goal? How likely is it to happen if you don’t try?

Fear is just an emotion. When we look at the facts of the situation, we can come up with a logical conclusion that we must go for it.

Most often I find that my disappointments are created by an unmet expectation I have of another person. Maybe a friend I believed in and trusted turned out not to be such a good friend after all. Maybe a guy I was dating misrepresented himself as a prince and turned out to be a toad. Maybe someone promised me they’d do something and then didn’t fulfill their commitment. These things happen and it’s a part of being human.

One time when I was disappointed by a guy I was dating, I was feeling very confused trying to make sense of his strange behavior. It was sucking up a lot of my energy and I didn’t like that feeling. I decided to make a list of the qualities of my ideal man (you can do this for business partnerships, friends, living spaces, vacations, etc. anything you’re trying to make a decision about). I had fun making the list and describing the way this wonderful man would be in the world and would make me feel when we were together.

When I reviewed the guy I had been dating against my list, I could clearly see that he wasn’t a match for me. None of his perplexing behavior mattered anymore because he just wasn’t a match. So, I was able to release all the energy I had tied up in figuring things out and feel the disappointment that he wasn’t an ideal man for me instead of feeling disappointed in myself (which is where I had been before the list). It made things so much clearer and easier to see.

Step 2: Accept Your Feelings

When I feel disappointed, I try to be compassionate with myself and to give myself the space to deal with it (which can be very challenging to do). I withdraw from the situation or person who’s creating the feeling of disappointment for me and I think about it. Not just think, but fully feel it. I accept that I’m disappointed and feeling sad or angry or hurt. I journal about the experience. I’m better able to process my emotions when I write them down.

I may try to meditate to relax. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I’m still deepening my meditation practice and I try to be kind to myself when I’m not as focused and peaceful as I would like to be. It’s a work in progress.

Step 3: Reach Out to Others

Then, if I’m still riled up, I talk about it with a trusted friend (a person who is happy and successful in this area of his/her life). I give them the facts, share how I feel about it, and receive their input. No gossip, no drama, no sideshow.

In the past, I would keep it all to myself not wanting to be a burden to anyone else or show my vulnerability. I’ve learned that it doesn’t work for me to be a lone wolf. I process things and bounce back faster when I’m surrounded by a few trustworthy friends who can see the light at the end of the tunnel when I’ve lost my flashlight and can’t find my way.

So, I talk about it, get help/advice, and then I choose my actions. I don’t marinate in the feelings. I feel them, get them out into the open, decide what to do, and do it. I do my best not to look backward for too long. It can be hard, but it keeps me moving forward.

Step 4: Let Go and Create Space

Once I commit to an action, I take it. I don’t second-guess it. I just go. So, in the case of a friend who’s let me down in a big way (for example, crossed a major respect boundary that is irreparable for me), I choose to forgive her and to move forward without that negative influence in my life. As much as I might think I miss her, when I separate facts from emotions, I realize that the person I thought she was is not who she really is.

People show us who they are with their actions, not their words, and we have to believe them. So, I really just miss the idea of who I thought she was (a good friend). I accept that, let go of the toxic relationship, and move forward as gracefully as I can.

Does it hurt at first? Yes. Does it hurt forever? No. It can feel like it will, but I promise it will subside over time. Sometimes much faster than you think.

Step 5: Reward Yourself

Once you’ve brought it out into the light and taken action, distraction can be a nice tool to get your positive energy back to a higher level. Do something fun that completely absorbs you. Maybe it’s dancing, or watching the sunset, or going to an amusement park, or watching a movie, or going on a date, or painting, or getting swept up in a great book, anything that you enjoy that you can be fully present while doing. Be good to yourself the way you would treat a child who’s just gone through a heartbreaking experience.

Step 6: Gracefully Move Forward

Then, you just keep moving forward. Keep taking that next step and, before you know it, you’ve travelled a long distance and, you’ve grown and evolved in unexpected ways along the journey.

I believe the key is not to get down on yourself and not to give up. Everything happens for a reason and if we accept this and move forward, nothing can stop us. Connect with your passion for your goal (Why do you want it? How badly do you want it? What will you do when you have it? How will you celebrate? How will you feel?) and then go after it with everything you’ve got. You don’t have it now, so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Your breakthrough is just around the corner.

Go ahead, take a risk, and go for what you really, really want in life … you just might get it! And, if not, you’ve just created massive space for something new and wonderful to flow into your life. Either way, you win!